*In each blog post the partner will be referred to through A- Pretty Little Liars inspiration and giving complete ANONYMITY to the person in question*
A took me forever to get over, about a year and a half to be exact. A was an awesome person, we shared a passion and we had the same humor, some of my memories with A were some of the best ones I’ve had with anyone. A taught me the most about relationships, A also taught me a lot about myself along the way and what I needed from another person.
Me and A were in different years at school, I’d seen A around but never really taken much notice before. One day, A messaged me (although A always said it was the other way round, no way would I have been so ballsy back then!) and we arranged to meet up after an event, the meeting was very brief and I actually ended up thinking A was a bit of a dickhead initially!
Me and A arranged to meet properly after the failed first attempt and A made me dinner and I stayed over, we stayed up all night talking sat on the kitchen counters, we talked about our family, our friends, our dreams, our worst fears, we talked about everything and we just clicked straight away, I’d never had a connection like that with someone before, A was my first love and I was hooked.
Me and A had a rough ride at first with problems from the beginning, but I was determined to stick by A’s side, like I said I’d never felt like that about anyone before. There were always hurdles that Me and A had to overcome and we usually did, we were strong when we were together but we spent a lot of time apart as we were in a long distance relationship and that’s the thing that made us weak.
A was my best friend and my absolute world, but I couldn’t focus on other things when I wasn’t with A, I became really agitated and shitty to be around for my friends the longer I spent away from him and it was ruining my friendships. I knew I couldn’t carry on with it to be honest, after a year and a half together, it was all too much and I left the relationship, I had to even though I didn’t want to, it was gonna be the best thing for both of us. I said a lot of things to A that I regret when we ended things, it was so shit at the time but I’m glad I did it. I had no choice really otherwise it would have been backwards and forwards constantly and neither of us deserved that.
A went away to live his dream doing what he loved and that was the last I heard from him really, we’ve spoken on and off since we split but never properly, we blocked each other on EVERYTHING at first but we’ve had limited contact since. I haven’t spoken to A in about a year, we ended with bad blood which was a shame after everything we went through together. Me and A’s relationship taught me the most I’ve probably learnt from a relationship, we were both young and I was immature about things at the time.
What my First Love Taught me
Be patient: Your partner may have things going on that they’re not quite ready to tell you yet, don’t be impatient with them and short tempered over stupid things like not replying to your message in your limited time span.
If it’s meant to be, it will be: The odds can be completely stacked against you and your partner but you’ll find a way to make things work if you’re truly meant to be together.
A Relationship is TWO SIDED: You both have to put in the same amount of effort, don’t expect them to do all of the work and to send a good morning text every day. It’s the little things that count, buying them a little something, making dinner, splitting the bill etc.
Don’t get stuck in the same routine: Me and A got stuck with this one, we’d always do the same things when seeing each other and it got boring, we got stuck into a routine and never did anything random or out of context, we were even stuck on our local restaurant order, we NEVER ordered anything else. We should have spiced up our lives like the spice girls. SPICE UP YOUR LOVE LIFE!
TALK TO YOUR PARTNER: This couldn’t be more important, you need to be able to talk to your partner about anything, they’re supposed to be the person you can speak to no matter what the problem, this is something I’ve always struggled with, but in my current relationship we talk about anything and everything, we probably talk way too much most of the time but I absolutely love being able to finally do that with someone.
Don’t put the other person above your own needs: NEVER put a relationship or a person in front of your own needs or dreams. I’d never let anyone stop me from going for my goals and achieving my dreams. If your partner isn’t 100% supportive of you then they’re not the one.
I’m totally guilty of obsessing over the relationship when it ended, I spent so much time over analyzing every little thing that happened, where did we go wrong? I even got to the point where although I was the one that ended it, I was the one who wouldn’t let go of the relationship, I couldn’t stop and it’s like I was possessed! I went totally psycho and literally would talk about nothing else, it was WEIRD, like what the hell was wrong with me?! Eventually I just moved on one day. The thing is I guess I never had proper closure from the relationship because we met up one more time after the breakup so I could collect my things and then I never saw him again.
One day, I woke up and I was over it and it was the best feeling in the world, I wasn’t chained to the relationship that didn’t work out anymore. My first love was my first heartbreak and it hurt like a bitch. To get over heartbreak, you need to surround yourself with some fabulous friends, junk food and alcohol, your good friends will be there every step of the way no matter what (shoutout to kirsty, wes and em, my gals)
Best wishes to A, wherever he is or whatever he’s doing in life, I hope you’re living your best life and still going for your dreams, I always told you you’d make it!