*In each blog post the partner will be referred to through A- Pretty Little Liars inspiration and giving complete ANONYMITY to the person in question*
Me and A were never in a relationship, I’ll make that VERY clear, our time together was short and sweet but also very bitter. Looking back it could never have worked out, we were at completely different points in our lives and we weren’t going to have a future together.
Me and A’s first date was going for a cheeky spoons, we got the drinks in and sat there for hours talking, the conversation flowed so naturally and we clicked immediately. A was the definition of my perfect guy, he was everything I was looking for, tall, handsome and funny, he smelt really good too which was a bonus. I hadn’t had that butterfly feeling with a guy since ‘the first love’ and must have looked like a total weirdo because I cried as he was taking me home because I was so relieved to have that for someone else for the first time since the first love. I just had something in my eye though… shhhh.
The problem was, A was moving away to start his career, meanwhile I was going to be leaving for university. A had about a month until he left and I wasn’t going to be far behind him. Me and A decided to continue what we had going, we spent a couple of days together each week for the remainder of the time we had. When the month was over, we didn’t really know how to go about things but we continued speaking and we still visited each other, it hadn’t been long so we didn’t want to rush into anything, but on the other hand was it smart to dive into something knowing we’d very very rarely see each other?
The day I moved to University he ended it, he didn’t trust me not to stay loyal with a pending freshers week and knowing what university students were like having been one himself he just didn’t want to be with me. I was angry that someone thought so low of me to do something like that. When you’re seeing someone whether in a relationship or not it’s a commitment you choose to make, if you don’t want to be with them and want to mess around with other people, then end it. It’s really that simple. But A didn’t believe I was that decent a person which has always pissed me off since we went in opposite directions.
Me and A haven’t spoken since, at the time I thought A was everything I wanted but after reflecting on it, it turns out A wasn’t the one for me. If someone wants to be with you, they’ll find a way to make it work. A had faults and A wasn’t so perfect after all.
What my Second Chance taught me
Don’t fall in love with the idea of a person: Sometimes you realize you’re in love with the idea of what you have, not the person. Usually you don’t realize this until after it’s ended, but when you figure it out, you’ll know it was wrong.
Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not: I felt like I couldn’t completely be myself with A, I found myself always trying to be perfect for him when I just wasn’t that type of girl, if I was seeing him, I’d dress up nicely, full face of makeup and hair done, I’d even wear makeup to bed and get up early to reapply it and spritz myself with perfume. I tried so hard to be this perfect little doll for him and I wasn’t myself at all.
NEVER let anyone tell you who you are: A had the impression of me that I would be the type to cheat on him, which isn’t me at all. AT ALL. He tried to tell me who I was and what I would do and he was wrong, no-one knows you better than you know yourself and he couldn’t have been more wrong about me if he tried.
Me and A don’t talk, at all. I have nothing to say to someone who thinks of me in that way. Funny though, A got a girlfriend about a week or so after we ended things… coincidence? I think not. Maybe the accusations my way were the result of a guilty conscious? Who knows? The timing really was impeccable. But I’m a STRONG believer in everything happens for a reason and I’m sure you’ll find out why, stay tuned.