I AM SO FUCKING OVER MEN.
I mean it, I’ve put myself through dating for the past six years, NON-STOP. If I haven’t been in a relationship I’ve been going on copious amounts of tinder dates until I found one I actually liked then jumped into the next relationship, then it ends and the vicious cycle of my desperate need to be with someone starts all over again.
I’m a relationship person, what can I say? I love the feeling of having someone want me and only me. I love getting so lost in the other person that you didn’t know it was possible to like someone so much even when they do a really bad fart in your freshly hinched room. I just like the feeling of cuddling up to someone as you’re going to sleep. I love having deep chats and sharing my hopes and dreams with someone. I’ve honestly just never liked being on my own since I started dating at 16 and I live in constant fear that I’m going to end up a crazy old cat lady, desperate, alone and smelling of cat piss.
Going through a break up is the worst feeling in the whole world, especially when you thought that person was going to be around for a long time. Then somehow it gets even worse, post break up dating is horrible, going through the getting to know someone all over again, downloading all the dating apps and having the same tedious conversation over and over again with each person, hi how are you? where you from? what do you do? UGH. You can’t help but compare every person you meet to your ex but you continue with this mental phase because you just don’t want to be on your own and you also want to show him what he’s missing and try and prove you’ve moved on, I’m over it.
For the first time in a long time, maybe smelling like cat piss isn’t so bad. I just want to do me and be alone. I want to focus on my ambitions and goals, I want to travel, I want to work on my fitness and health. I’m so over boys and I’m over being hurt by them over and over again. I can seriously tell you that it’s gonna take someone VERY special to turn my head and they will have to drag me kicking and screaming away from being single and living my best life. I’m going through the ultimate thank u next ariana grande phase and I am living for it. Seriously, if anything with a penis comes near me for the rest of 2019, I’ll kick it in the balls.
The thing that I hate the most about dating is having to limit yourself, you never know how far you can push a persons buttons. But from this point on, if someone wants me they’ll get the real me. The good, the bad and the ugly, not the cool girl who won’t say how she really feels so she doesn’t come across ‘crazy’ or ‘needy’. There’s no being fake and no pretending to be something I’m not anymore, there’s no point biting my tongue when someone has seriously pissed me off by something they’ve done or said. I am tired of prioritising people who don’t prioritise me. I’m sick of being unappreciated. And like hell, I am gonna stop putting myself through people I’m really not that keen on and I will tell them where to stick it. The most dating I will partaking from this point on is third wheeling my friends (sorry millie)
There’s no more downloading tinder for a confidence boost and swiping right and left till my brain just dissolves. No downloading bumble and replying to someone within 24 hours (what kind of bullshit is that?!) I’m just putting me first, I have so many amazing things in my life to be focusing on instead, my family, my wonderful friends and a really exciting summer planned (stay tuned) and I honestly don’t have the time or energy for dating anymore. If it was on my to do list, it would be at the very bottom but this time it ain’t even made the cut.
I’m tired of trying to play it cool, if I like you, I’ll let you know. If I want to double text, I’ll triple text. If I want to hook up, I’ll get that on my to do list. I deserve a medal for enduring this torture for the last six years. Dating is beyond SHIT. And I am done with all of it for the foreseeable future. Thank U Next.